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RIP to the old me

 Having a stroke on the precipice of a global pandemic wasn't one of my best moves in life; it meant that aftercare and support either wasn't in place or was drastically compromised. I found myself scouring the internet for help and support in other places. 

One group in particular, Different Strokes on Facebook, provided me with a wealth of support from other people in a similar position to myself, it also gave me the opportunity to offer snippets of my experience to people at the start of their stroke journey which actually made me feel useful again. 

I recall one day flicking through the group reading latest posts and seeing that a member had asked if anyone else felt like "the old me had died" and it struck a chord instantly with me. It was as if someone had put words to the way I had been feeling for so long and not been able to explain. I was grieving for my old self. 

Being able to put a label on my emotions was a huge relief, once I was able to identify what it was I was feeling I was able to process it much more efficiently and it removed that feeling I was constantly getting of loosing control. 

Accepting the fact that the old me had gone for good and the need to embrace the new me and adjust to my new normal was a huge turning point on my stroke recovery journey. One that I wish I had realised much much sooner than I did. 

With that in mind I decided that rather than play the blame game, and moan about the fact that I wasn't getting access to enough support and help with my recovery from doctors and other organisations, it was time to take matters into my own hands and lead my own recovery. 

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