Strong Women Raise Strong Girls

I had somewhat of a 'normal' upbringing, both my parents were hard working and we were incredibly fortunate to be comfortable enough to live in beautiful homes and have beautiful things, none of which came without sacrifices, that was something I learnt about life extremely early on, if you wanted nice things, you had to work hard to pay for them. 

My Mom was catapulted into the life of a career woman, almost, it felt to me as a 3 year old, overnight. I recall she worked in a local furniture store where she sold lighting and every now and then my Dad would take me there to drop off hairspray when she made the emergency call (it was the early nineties big hair was absolutely essential and the heat of all those lights used to make her curls drop 😂). I can't even remember how or when it happened but she rocketed through roles like nobodies business; from a team leader to management to lead generation roles and beyond. She passed her driving test on one day, was presented with a brand new company car the next and had to drive to City Centre London the same day. She just rolled with it and she was brilliant at her job. This came with a price though, I watched my Mom pour so much of herself into her work that she forgot to look after herself, it started with nose bleeds, as simple as that sounds. Stress was slowly killing her and she floundered. High impact, high stress, tight deadlines and leadership was what she knew and what she was bloody good at. But slowing down and taking it easy was not! Little did I know that 20 odd years later she would be the one telling me I needed to slow down and make changes, just as she had done, because no job was worth loosing my life for. 

The issue that I think she would agree we both have is we know that in order to have the nice things and the little luxuries here and there someone has to pay for them. And as any parents would, my Mom and Dad wanted me to have the opportunities in life that they hadn't. They were both born and raised in Council houses, both having siblings and large extended families who all chipped in and did what they could to raise children together. They did their upmost to buy a house together in which they would go on to raise me and my older sister. We asked for things, and if we deserved it, we got them (I'm sure sometimes we didn't deserve them and we still got them). I don't feel like we were spoiled, we were taught the value of a pound, but we absolutely never had to go without as children and the things we had we cherished and looked after as best as we were able. 

My Mom's Mom, Nanny Scram to me and you, was an absolute grafter. She ran a cafeteria in a local factory and kept the men working there fed and watered. My Grandad Joe had exactly the same morals, he worked incredibly hard, for most of my childhood he would only appear very briefly for something to eat before being away to his bed, ready to wake up in the early hours of the morning and get in his lorry again. He was a man of very few words, most of them tongue in cheek, and loved a routine. I think that's why once he retired he became unwell and slowly got worse, because he had lost his purpose in life and didn't know what to do next, he used to stroll around their flat bored out of his mind, hoovering where my Nan had already hoovered and generally getting under her feet, bless him. Nanny Scram, on the other hand, is an absolute warrior. She has flown through the stages of life, from a mother to a grandmother and now a great grandmother, and hasn't let old age slow her down all that much until recently. She lives alone, has a better social life than me and is probably fitter and more able bodied than I am to be honest! Her sense of humour is the thing I love most about her, she has the most raucous laughter and has me in absolute stitches whenever I speak to her. I'm ever hopeful, my health allowing, that I will be able to spend more time, while I'm not at work, with her.

I am incredibly privileged to have had such a large and involved family when I was growing up. I had both sets of Grandparents up until I was 21, Aunts and Uncles and cousins that I grew up hand in hand with and the family friends who we called aunties and uncles; we were a very close knit family and I absolutely treasure those memories. 

My Dad's parent's provided me with so much insight and inspiration growing up, for them I will be truly forever thankful. My Grandad Tom was a man that commanded respect, without ever showing arrogance, when he spoke, everybody listened, and when he sang it could leave a room so silent you could hear a pin drop. From them I got my love of socialising and the pub trade. I used to go to the social club with my Grandad on weekends and, from the age of 5, I would be given a job to do, from watching the cctv to selling raffle tickets or taking the money for the coat room. I poured my first pint when I was 6 and I've loved it ever since. My grandad was a smoker and a beer drinker, and even now to this day, not that pubs smell like it anymore since the smoking ban, but the smell of a smoky bar takes me straight back to those weekends spent sat on a stool behind a bar, feet not reaching the floor, watching my hero of a Grandad and seeing how much he was loved by everybody. My Nan was the mildest most reserved woman I have ever known, she didn't have a bad word to say about anybody, at least not until my Grandad came back too late or too loud or tried to smoke indoors 😂 that was when the Tipton in her would come and she would have his life. She looked after all of us,  me and my two cousins, every weekend. We're all similar ages now, 25 31 and 32 so she really had her hands full because we were little shits to be honest, we ate her out of house and home and had more energy than the duracell bunny! And yet the worst she ever did was call us all 'twerps'.😂  If I grow into half the kind soul she was, I'll be happy. 

There is a saying, it takes a village to raise a child, and in my case, that couldn't be more true. Some of my fondest memories growing up were with 'my village'; my grandparents taking me on holidays and day trips, my Auntie and Uncle taking me places, baking cakes with my Auntie in my Nans kitchen, hiding under the table with my cousins stealing from the buffet, sleepovers at my sisters when she would let me sip a bottle of hooch as long as I made it last me all night 😂

As a family we are strong, united and unstoppable, even though individually we have our flaws, there is always someone willing to make up for whatever one us may be lacking. 

My nieces, 12 and 13, have been my shadows since they were tiny, more so Lillie Mae the eldest; she was born breech and as a result ended up with displaced hips, my sister went back to work when Lillie was a few months old and I looked after her for the first year of her life. My sister moved back to my Mom's house the following year and the girls were with me everyday for about 4 years, this meant I got to see all their special moments, first words, first steps, first tantrums... the good, the bad and the ugly. I had the opportunity to experience unconditional love and treated the girls like they were my own. I didn't know at the time but the bond I had with them is the nearest thing I have ever and will ever get to a parental bond. Now they are at ages where life is unfair, they've got spots, they can do their make up better than I can and I'm buying crop tops instead of tutus... But my love for them is as strong now as it was on day one. I hope when they are 30, they sit down and look back and realise Auntie helped to raise them into strong girls. 

Strong women most definitely raise strong girls; I know this because they raised me.